Thursday, June 11, 2015

Putting things down on Paper

 "I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much." - Sandra Cisneros

I used to write a lot. Pour my soul our over parchment or find serenity in the quiet click clack of the key board in late hours of the night. 

People grow and change and I am no exception to that I suppose. I guess I spend so much time sharing the details of my life with my delightful spouse that it feels redundant to spill them out on a page too. 

I feel like I'm in an odd transitional state. I've physically moved half-way across the country. I've got Knight by my side along with the new faces of Scout, Harley Quinn, and Tali'Zorah. I have this wonderful family here and many, many friends. But I'm still getting away from old patterns of thought. 

That being said, life is wonderful. I'm laughing and learning. Learning more about life, and behavior analysis, and most importantly, more about myself. 

I continue to struggle to find balance. I just feel like I'm juggling too many spheres. I might get school and work in balance while my dog world dips into chaos. Always two perfect while the third limps along. But all that learning I mentioned earlier? I'm learning balance isn't really a noun.

 "So I think probably it’s not a thing to be journeyed to, balance, but rather, a constant struggle and a process. It is the best struggle. It is the struggle we are all graced with from the beginning, and it is devastating and it is happy and it is obnoxious and it is freeing." -Tori Self 

So I'm here, sometimes loathing, sometimes loving the process that is balance as a verb, a continuous act.

There are exciting things on the horizon. Knight and I are hopping back into the agility ring next week and I cannot wait. I yearn for that good anxiety that is anticipation to take over my commonplace apprehension.

Scout has been entered in his trial in August and that is exciting. Harley Quinn and Tali are brilliant souls who are so enthusiastic about learning. Things are moving.

I don't always know what I'm doing these days. But I do have the best of company.